Tips for Tackling Picky Eating
Every parent dreams of seeing their child relish each bite of food, savoring its flavors and reaping the benefits of a well-balanced diet. But the reality often includes moments of anxiety and frustration as parents face the challenge of picky eaters and watching their painstakingly prepared meals go untouched. How can we transform mealtimes into a joyful and nutritious experience for our children? Dive into my guide for creative tips that turn mealtime battles into opportunities for healthy eating habits.
The Satter Division of Responsibility in Feeding (sDOR):
Before we discuss common reasons for picky eating and tips to combat them, it's important to understand the Satter Division of Responsibility in Feeding. This is just a fancy name for a model that encourages children to trust and use their natural hunger cues and instincts when eating.
Division of responsibility in feeding:
Parents are in charge of:
What is served
When it’s served
Where it’s served
Children are in charge of:
Whether they eat
How much they eat
It’s often difficult for parents to comprehend this model or let go of full control of how their children eat. 99% of picky eating habits stem from this model not being followed. It’s not the parent’s job to get their child to eat. When we try to have too much control, we become frustrated and defeated in the face of picky eating and often resort to techniques such as:
Bribing: “If you finish your broccoli, you can have ice cream.”
Punishing: “No TV tonight because you didn’t finish dinner.”
Forcing: “You can’t leave the table until you’ve had two more bites.”
Shaming: “Your sister always eats her fruits and vegetables, why can’t you?”
Distracting: “You can watch your favorite TV show while you eat dinner.”
These five techniques may act as short-term solutions, but they can negatively affect our kids’ relationship with food and nutrition long-term. Over time, your child will stop trusting their physical hunger cues and become less intuitive, relying more on external cues to tell them what to eat, resulting in greater picky eating habits.
7 Common Reasons for Picky Eating:
They feel pressure: Think about mealtimes as “family bonding time” rather than “make my kid eat time.” This way they won’t feel as much pressure and will be more open to trying new or previously rejected foods.
They’re bored: Switch up the textures and shapes of your food (smooth, pureed, chunky, ground, finely chopped, cubed). Not only can this prevent boredom but it also allows your child to learn to accept and enjoy different preparations. Additionally, try to rotate through different meals and snacks during the week or maybe make funny faces with the foods on their plate to help them get excited.
They feel ignored: Allow your child to have a say when shopping at the grocery store and when cooking. For example, give your child a choice between different foods to purchase from the store or have them help in the kitchen by washing fruits and vegetables.
They're nervous: Try the tester plate method. Introduce a tester plate, placed near your child's main plate, designated for unfamiliar or "yucky" foods. Your child doesn't have to eat from this plate—they can simply smell, touch, and explore the food without any pressure to consume it. If they choose to try food from this plate, acknowledge their bravery with neutral responses rather than praise, avoiding associations with rewards or consequences that label foods as "good" or "bad."
Another effective strategy is food chaining. This method begins with the foods your child already loves and gradually introduces new options that share similar characteristics, such as texture, color, or flavor. By building on their existing preferences, food chaining can help expand their palate more comfortably and enjoyably.
They’re eating too many snacks: Establish structure around snack time. Offer only one or two foods such as fruit and yogurt or cheese and crackers, instead of snack time being a free-for-all. They need a chance to build an appetite for meals, otherwise, they won’t eat as much.
Their portions are too big: Reduce their portion sizes. Seeing a large amount of food on their plate can be overwhelming and may diminish their appetite.
There may be a real medical reason affecting your child's ability to eat: If you are concerned this is the case, consult your child’s pediatrician and request a referral to a speech-language pathologist, occupational therapist, or a pediatric registered dietitian. Conditions can range anywhere from food allergies, reflux, eosinophilic esophagitis (painful erosions in the esophagus), or severe constipation. Additionally, they may have sensory integration issues, compromised oral-motor control and function, or they may have experienced trauma with eating in the past.
Addressing Concerns: What If They Consistently Don't Eat?
It's important to remember that missing one meal won't harm them or reflect poorly on your parenting. Your child had the opportunity to eat, and the choice is ultimately theirs. Try to accept "I'm just not hungry" as an okay answer and remind them that the kitchen will be closed after mealtime. However, there are a few strategies to consider if the issue persists.
Offer a snack later:
If your child skips dinner, offering a healthy snack a few hours later can be beneficial. This allows the child to experience mild hunger, making them more receptive to dinner in the future, and ensures they don't go to bed hungry. Offer a snack like fruit with yogurt or almond butter, to avoid overconsumption of sweets.
Include a neutral food with meals:
Another strategy is to include a neutral, well-liked food with meals, such as bread or condiments like ketchup and ranch. This ensures the child has something to eat even if they don't like the main course. As mentioned previously, you want to cultivate a neutral environment without drawing attention to the child's eating choices. This can reinforce undesirable behaviors, as children might seek attention even if it's negative. So, as long as the atmosphere remains neutral, and no attention is given to their choices, they will eventually get sick of only eating these neutral foods and will decide on their own to try other foods.
Transforming mealtimes from a battle to a joyful experience requires an understanding of the Satter Division of Responsibility in Feeding and avoiding counterproductive techniques such as bribing and forcing. By reducing pressure, varying food textures, involving children in food choices, and using strategies like the tester plate method, parents can encourage healthy eating habits. Remember, a neutral approach and professional help when needed can make all the difference in fostering a positive relationship with food!
